Front or Back?….Can’t tell? Welcome to the Mom Jean
My latest crop of clients at SASS New York have been new Moms. Among which the common fear is they will no longer look sexy. This is understandable since new mothers often accessorize with a splash of avocado on their face or a streak of yogurt in their hair. We barely have time to brush our teeth let alone create a smoky eye worthy of Jerseylicious.
Often we assume upon leaving the delivery room, we will be handed a pair of Mom Jeans by a nurse with a kind face. She will explain to us in the same gentle manner she used to teach us how to swaddle the child, “They are pale-coloured to ensure ample view of the your thigh size. And the back pockets? Do not look for them on your buttocks but a good 2 or 3 inches higher. The promises to provide Long Butt. You will find the waistband rests comfortable below your 4th rib . This is so the bulk of the denim can gather at your belly. This eliminates having to suffer through the awkwardness of not having a belly anymore.” She will smile sweetly and continue, “And just in case your husband may still have any lingering desire for you, ” (during which she will turn to your husband inquisitively and he will shake his head. definitively) “we’ve added elastic panels on both sides of the waist and guaranteed the leg length shall remain 1” too short. God bless your new baby.”
Mothers: Leave the jeans. Grab the baby. And steal as many of those GIANT maxi pads you can shove into your overnight bag.
Simple ways to avoid the MJ syndrome even when sleep deprived.
1) pocket placement: start 1/4 below your tush. end at the bottom. look for stitching
2) color: dark rinse
3) length: with flats, should be 1/4” off the floor
Follow these rules and you will need to hire more babysitters because Momma is sizzling!